In this article, I am sharing why your child gets upset when parents show affection and suggest what to do.
Why is Your Child Getting Upset?
Your child feels
more attachment towards one parent.
Your child wouldn’t like the parent to show love for anyone else, even if the person is your spouse.
This makes him feel jealous of your partner and your child would envy the time, love and importance you give to your spouse.
Normally, the daughter is more attached to her father and the boy to his mother.
neglected by the parents.
If your child starts crying as soon as you kiss or hug your partner, it is definitely a sign that your child wants more attention.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t giving your child enough attention already.
Maybe both of you have been cuddling and playing a lot with your child and in his earlier years, now it is hard for him to digest that you give each other importance.
What Should Parents Do?
Don’t be held down by your child.
Before taking any step you need to be warned not to submit to your child’s will.
Don’t make the mistake of giving in when your child protests against anything they do.
If your child cries or screams when you affectionate your partner don’t surrender to him.
Find out which parent is your child jealous of.
When parents kiss one another in front of the child, it is easy to find out that your child is overprotective towards one parent and shows anger towards the other.
This would help you decide who communicates to your child to explain everything to him.
If your boy thinks Dada is a monster who is stealing my Mama, probably Dada should take a little side while Mom tries to change his mindset.
Talk to your child.
Be clear in your words and point out the matter smoothly and directly.
For example, Mama and Dada love you and love each other as well. You are hurting us by showing upset when we are affectionate.
Try to equalize your child’s affection towards the neglected parent.
For example, the neglected parent would need to spend more time with your child when the other parent isn’t around.
Play with your child, talk to him and offer help whenever he faces a problem.
Engage your child to make him feel loved and valuable.
Do not show annoyance to your child.
Approach your child in a way that he feels more engaged. He should be given love, respect, and importance from both of you.
For example, do group hugs and kisses with your spouse and child.
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Mama and Dada having a fun time with your child in the bed.
Take your child out and have some family time with him in a day.
This forms a strong bond with your child and he enjoys time with Mama and Dada.
Allocate separate times for your partner.
This would make your child understand that you two have a life as a couple as well.
Ignore any resistance from your child.
If you have been allocated time for your child separately, talked to him over the matter, etc, there is still resistance and protest when you affectionate with your spouse, it is better to ignore it.
Praise the positive behaviour of your child.
If your child is not being resistant, you should tell him that he is doing well.
Praising your child has a strong impact in bringing a positive change in his behaviour and making your child practice more.
I hope all these pointers will help you to understand why your child gets upset when your spouse and you show affection and know what to do.
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