A very familiar scenario: Your 2-year-old child grabs your handphone. You snatch it back from her. She starts to get it back…adamantly and determinedly. Yes she wants it back fast and wants it nooooow! The crying ensues, escalating into a full-blown tantrum.
Parents out there must and have to keep cool! Here are some questions that possibly help to cool you down before you do something that you may regret later.
What is the goal when you are dealing with children?
Is it to show who is the boss?
To instill fear and let the child know your baseline?
To help the child develop into a decent, self-confident person?
Definitely and surely the last question is the ideal and important goal that parents want to end the endless ‘parental insanity’.
Understanding parents who practise good parenting can help foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation and cheerfulness in a parent-child relationship. It promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve for the children. It helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behaviour as your child grows.
Being parents is already no easy job. To be very understanding and cool parents is even tougher. What’s more challenging is that parents and children have different temperaments and personalities. Most parents base their actions on gut feeling. More experienced parents may have better instincts. No manuals! How? Fret not! Just remember the 4 principles of good parenting and especially new parents, you are on a good start in the parenting journey.
1. Treat your child with respect
Respect matters. It is a critical concept for children to understand and act upon. The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully.
We grew up with the old adage "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The golden rule means you should treat others as you would like to be treated.
Children should deserve the same consideration we adults accord to others in the adult world. We tend to feel that children will not know this and are too young to feel it. The fact that the children are not somebody. They are your precious stones and should be treated in a thoughtful, civil, and courteous manner, just as we treat other people. We respect a child’s body and dignity when we choose not to cause deliberate pain while disciplining her/him. Bearing in mind that respecting a child’s mind means giving him or he the space to explore and develop at their own pace. We must respect each child as a unique person!
Likewise a child treats others the way his or her parents treathim/her. If parents show respect with their child’s opinion and be attentive when he/she speaks with you, the child tends to follow what they observe from the parents. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for his/her relationships with others.
2. Parents are role models
What the parents say or do makes a difference for your children. When your child was younger, your role was to lay the foundations for their behaviour.
As mentioned earlier, your little loved ones are observing your actions and behaviours. As parents, do not just react on the spur of the moment. Parents tend to laugh when they see the child emulate parents’ actions or things that they do or say. Parents are flattered by the child’s emulation. The fact that the child is always watching you, your interactions with him/her means that the child’s learning takes place.
Parents have to be mindful of your actions and examples set with your attitude and behaviour within the family, in the outside world and in school. These little gems ‘monkey see monkey do’. Once again, ask yourself “What do I want to achieve?” Are my actions or behaviour able to produce the desired outcome?”
3. Be involved in your child's life
Being an involved parent takes time and a lot of hard work. It means rethinking and re-scheduling your priorities. It means sacrificing what you want to do for what your children need to do. You need to address their concerns, participate in their lives and maintain a constructive perspective with them. Parental involvement occurs in the child’s school, in the community, at home and at any time. You have to be there with them mentally and physically.
Parents have a strong influence on their child. Parental involvement in children’s learning is an important component of early childhood education. Studies have shown that parental involvement can positively influence child development and thus the child’s cognitive and social-emotional outcome that can affect his or her future.
Encouraging your child for good behavior
Arranging and participating in family activities of mutual interest
Facilitating problem-solving discussions
Attending school activities
Engaging in study routines
4. Establish and set rules
Rules provide the framework for children to understand what is expected of them at home, at school and with people. They are guidelines to help children learn how to manage in different situations.
Rules set the boundaries and limits to ensure children are safe. They are a form of self-discipline and to allow children to learn about self-control. Even with the rules, most children do not begin acting with self-control until their middle childhood years around the ages of 7-9. When used appropriately, rules provide a sense of predictability and consistency for children. Rules promote physical, emotional safety and to guide children to behave toward the desired results.
Making rules, guidelines and expectations based on love are the surest way to foster a strong parent-child relationship. Parents must be reflective and always look from your child’s perspective when they work out and set the rules. Good family rules should be positive, specific and easy for the child to understand. A short list of positive family rules is better than a long one, especially for younger children. Amend the rules as children get older or when your family situation changes.
A good start for setting rules is to focus rules on behaviour, safety, manners, routines and respect.
Choose the most important things to make rules about. This might include rules about:
physical behaviour towards each other [e.g. be courteous with each other]
safety [e.g. do not play with fire]
manners [e.g. wait for your turn to speak]
daily routines [e.g. help out to set up the table for each meal]
respect for each other [e.g. knock before going into each other’s rooms]
A child’s action including his/her behaviour generally reflects how strong the parent-child relationship. Positive parenting with your child from the start is a battle half won. Good parenting requires parents that are nurturing and positive.
In today’s world, good parenting requires considerable responsibility, sacrifice, and commitment. Living up to the 4 principles of good parenting is never easy. Ironically, it is imperative that parents must remember and practise them. Practising the 4 principles religiously will surely warm the cockles of your child’s and parents’ hearts.
What matters most to parents? Our most-read articles:
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Genesis Childcare 1989, one of the best Tampines Preschool and a good childcare in Tampines, advocates that every child is unique and precious who needs to be loved and cherished. In our Tampines childcare (Tampines Central), we have developed a curriculum which provides a bilingual learning experience, helps the children to learn the necessary skills and knowledge needed to help them successfully transit to Primary School with ease.
As one of the best childcare centre in Tampines since 1989, we are committed to nurturing our early learners holistically through various learning areas and positive learning dispositions. In our Tampines Preschool, we place a strong emphasis on the way our teachers facilitate and interact with the children.
Teachers from our childcare Tampines or Playgroup in Tampines are trained, qualified, passionate, dedicated, enthusiastic, caring and encouraging who love and empower each child to fulfil their potential to the fullest. Our Tampines Preschool professional team of preschool teachers has a good understanding of child development and learning principles. We apply them efficiently and set the stage to create a meaningful learning experience that supports your child's discovery.
The children in our preschool Tampines get to learn English, Chinese, Maths, Science, Music and Movement, Arts, Outdoor Play and cookery lessons. Our Preschool Tampines also provides balanced and nutritious meals for the children and helps the children to cultivate healthy eating habits.
We consistently create a positive and cozy environment that will give your child a sense of security which builds their self-confidence to explore the world around them in our good childcare in Tampines.
In our good childcare in Tampines, we have over 30 years of experience in nurturing thousands of infants, toddlers and preschoolers.
Located alongside our childcare centre in Tampines is our Nurture Infant House. If you are looking for a good Tampines infant care or infant care in Tampines, do visit Nurture Infant House. It is for infants aged 2 months to 18 months old. You can learn more about our infant care Tampines here.
Lastly, would you like to visit our Genesis Childcare Tampines to find out more about our environment and setup as well as understand our operations by talking to our teachers and supervisor?
Genesis Childcare 1989 (Playgroup to Kindergarten 2)
Blk 433 Tampines Street 43 #01-63/65 S(520433)
Nurture Infant House (2 to 18 months Infants)
Blk 433 Tampines Street 43 #01-61 S(520433)
Opening hours: Monday to Friday (7am to 7pm) & Saturday (7am to 2pm)
Public Bus services: 8 / 21 / 28 / 29 / 293