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Manage Toddler's Behaviours Part 2

Is your toddler having behaviour problems like tantrums and possessiveness?

In this article, I am sharing situations that cause tantrums and possessiveness, suggestions on how to manage the toddler’s tantrums and possessiveness respectively. I will also be sharing on types of toddlers’ temperament because by understanding your toddler’s temperament, you can help the toddler to cope better before tantrums happen.


Source: Facebook Video

Tantrums are very common in one to three years old toddler. For example, the toddler starts crying, screaming, kicking, whinging or running away and doesn’t have words to express emotions.

What causes Tantrums to happen?

- Temperament

This influences how quickly and strongly the toddler reacts to situations.

- Hunger, tiredness and overstimulation

This makes it harder for the toddler to express and manage feelings and behaviour.

How to make tantrums less likely to happen?

- Reduce tiredness, hungry and overstimulation in the toddler.

- Identify tantrum triggers.

If the toddler is hungry, gives the toddler a snack.

If the toddler is tired, gives the toddler a short nap.

- Tune in to the toddler’s feelings.

Find out what happens and help the toddler manage difficult feelings. The parent might also be able to distract the toddler.


Manage the toddler’s tantrum

- Ensure safety.

If the toddler is around anything that could hurt the toddler such as things made of glass, a staircase or any other potential danger, remove the toddler from it.

- Stay calm.

This shows the toddler that feelings can be controlled. It may take a while for the toddler to learn how to control emotions, but the toddler will eventually if the parent commits to being a good role model. If the parent needs to speak, keep voice calm and act deliberately and slowly.

- Acknowledge the toddler’s feelings. Consider hugging the toddler lovingly, but firmly, for a minute or so. Let the feelings subside and do not start shouting or screaming at the toddler.

- Take charge when the parent needs to. If the tantrum happens because the toddler wants something, don’t give in.

If the tantrum happens because the toddler does not want to go to bed during bedtime, don’t give in.

If the tantrum happens in a shopping mall or public place, move the toddler to a quiet corner so the toddler can calm down.

- Praise and reward the toddler when the toddler manages to calm down before a tantrum starts. Get the toddler to verbalize feelings which help the toddler develop greater emotional control.

- Don’t laugh at tantrums as this might reward the toddler with attention or upset the toddler even more if he thinks the parent is laughing at him.

- Allow the toddler to choose.

For example, If the toddler wants to wear a blue shirt instead of a green shirt, let the toddler wear it. Ask the toddler: Would you like to have a banana or an apple for snack today?"


Temperament is the way the toddler responds. Reactivity: This is how strongly the toddler reacts to things like situations or not getting his own way. Reactive toddler tends to feel things strongly.

Self-regulation: This is how much the toddler can control behaviour, including the way to show feelings.

Sociability: This is how comfortable the toddler is when meeting new friends or having new experiences.

Parenting more and less reactive temperaments

More reactive

- Have fun when something good happens. Help the toddler learn how to respond more calmly by relaxing and using words for angry feelings.

- Physically active by encouraging the toddler to play more and rest too.

Less reactive

- Easy to get along with.

- Less physically active.

Encourage physical activity. Let’s walk to the library instead of driving.

If you are looking to manage more of the toddler's behaviours, do check out our article on "Manage Toddler's Behaviours Part 1".

Parenting more and less self-regulated temperaments

More self-regulated

- Good at managing reactions to emotions.

- Good at coping with setbacks and able to get through tasks like homework without much supervision.

Less self-regulated

- Need lots of encouragement to keep going at difficult tasks in one activity.

- Help the toddler to focus.

- Reward the toddler.

- Make things fun by using games and creative activities.

Parenting more and less sociable temperaments

More sociable

- Like being around people, having playdates and group activities.

Let the toddler try to occupy his time.

- Adaptable and can cope with changes to routines quite easily.

Give the toddler one on one time with the parent and has lots of new experiences.

Less sociable

- Good at playing by oneself.

- Help the toddler with making friends.

Try asking one of the toddler’s friends for a playdate at the house or playground.

- Less adaptable and might not cope well with changes to routines.

Help the toddler to adapt and cope with changes to routines.


The toddler may refuse to play with other toddler or let other toddler play with the toys.


Manage the toddler’s Possessiveness

- Play with the toddler and teach the toddler how to share and take turns to play with toys at home.

- Help the toddler understand the need to play nicely with another toddler.

This is the end of the article; I hope all these suggestions will help you to manage your toddler’s tantrums and possessiveness better. You can refer to our articles to learn more about your parenting journeys.

Click here to read about "How to make friends" and "learn to share"?.

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